Success//Addiction//Redemption

By Stuart Harper

My story starts with success. I had a beautiful family (wife of 10+ years and three beautiful healthy children), newly built custom home on 5 acres of wooded land, new cars in the driveway and owned my own specialty sporting goods store. I lived a very lavish lifestyle. My life was perfect in the eyes of society, however inside I knew something was wrong.

I was never satisfied, I always wanted more. I didn’t know what I wanted more of; I just knew I wanted more. 

This craving for more manifested its place in my life through high-risk decisions. Decisions that affected my family however were made only thinking of me.

I can’t tell you where my downward spiral started but I can tell you it ended with me sitting in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center after having lost everything – my family, my business, my self-respect, everything. I wasn’t in rehab for me; I was there to help save my marriage. For the next 14 days I listened to people testifying to me about the power of God - yada, yada, yada. During that entire two weeks all I was doing was trying to figure out how I was going to work my way through this. I can remember thinking - the problem isn’t mine, it’s the circumstances and all I have to do is change the circumstances.

Then the night came that changed my life. Lying on my bed in the rehab center, looking up at the ceiling in a cold sweat realizing that I had a problem that I couldn’t fix, I yelled out to God and said, “If you aren’t there I’m f****ed!” Immediately my door opened and the largest black man I had ever seen was standing in the doorway saying, “God sent me.” The man’s name was Charlie and he had just been released from prison after promising to go to rehab- he said he had been clean and sober for 6 years. Charlie had found Jesus Christ in prison and for the next two weeks led me into a relationship with Christ. Charlie taught me to trust the Lord and give my life to Him. I wasn’t quite sure about this whole thing but I went along. Charlie was very persuasive.

After leaving rehab I joined an AA group and continued on my journey toward wholeness, I went to church periodically, got a job and stayed sober. Unfortunately I was not able to convince my wife to remain with me, so I moved into a long time friend’s house and did what I was told by my AA sponsor – don’t use, work hard, don’t miss AA and spend as much time with your kids as possible. For the next three years I did just that – didn’t drink, went to AA meetings, worked hard and saw my kids every chance I had. During this time of recovery I didn’t have any relationship with Jesus. I spoke to Him often and knew He was watching over me, but didn’t have a real relationship with Him.  As time passed my career opportunities kept improving. Through a series of events I found myself working for a division of McGraw-Hill in Buffalo. Here, I met my wife Laura and today we are in our 14^th year of marriage with two beautiful boys. Looking back I know it was God’s plan to bring Laura into my life. She had a relationship with Christ and she slowly moved me onto the path of developing my own relationship with Jesus.

After our marriage Laura and I realized that God had been working in our lives, we knew He was preparing us to serve Him in some way and we remained open to his direction. The opportunity to serve came to me through another series of God directed events culminating in me joining the City Mission first as a Board Member and now today as its Executive Director. Laura went through nursing school and today is the Hospice Liaison for area hospitals.

I feel truly blessed by Jesus Christ every day. I start each day on my knees thanking Jesus for all the blessing he has given me and also use that time to talk with Him as my best friend.  I try to repent for my mistakes and request assistance for my challenges, but most days I just thank him and smile for all the joy He has brought to my life. I know I am not worthy of His grace but there is a reason and expectation He has for me and I try to live it out each day. Bring people to the Lord and testify His salvation, hope and eternal life to all who give themselves to Him. This note goes out to those who are struggling to know Jesus Christ and the only think I can tell you is if you open your heart and get on your knees and honestly ask Jesus Christ for help; He will help you. He is there just waiting for you to come to Him. He has always been there and will never leave you no matter what you have done. My only warning is hold on tight and be prepared for the ride of your life. It is glorious. You can’t even imagine what He has in store for you and it will come during the most unexpected time and from the most unexpected places you can imagine. Be blessed.

Stuart Harper is Executive Director of Buffalo City Mission